She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
