so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He shit in the fireplace
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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