trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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