I want to make a zoo with you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize