I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
