You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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