shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
