I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
