Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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