And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
