Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
