That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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