I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize