CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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