Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
