I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize