Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
