Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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