I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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