I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
