The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
