Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us

(608): View more from Wisconsin

you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow

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(408): View more from California

I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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(206): View more from Washington

got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl

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(623): View more from Arizona

How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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(613): View more from Ontario

It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?

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(310): View more from California

Seriously where are the good guys?

(559): View more from California

The friend zone.

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