She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.