yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need a hobby that isn't dick related