There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
