the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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