i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
