found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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