i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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