I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I currently don't understand fingers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize