I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
