do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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