I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
