I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
