I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
