Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
