my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
