I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party