I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!