I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
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We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos