I love black thongs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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