your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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