She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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