I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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