and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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