I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
