honey bunches of taint.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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