Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
