i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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