very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nicole vs. Life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
