I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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