what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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