Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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