I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
