my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
