She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
