But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize