I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
