I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize