get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i have two assholes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
