Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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