I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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