I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
